it's sad when you see the person you love over a computer screen

i was on google talk with joaquin today and we tried out the video chat...

amazing... yes

creative...yes

depressing...more so than yes

as we tried to work the program for the first time we had issues. first it wasn't showing up that i had downloaded the tool. next when i tried calling to connect he didn't answer. last, we connected, well at least i saw joaquin through my computer but he could not see me.

while i visually watched the most handsome man in the world wave his hands around in the air to test the video, i typed "i see you" "i dont see you" he said.. and typed i watched him adorable yet dopey facial expressions on the screen. at one point we were so frustrated we both laid our faces on our hands at the same time. of course, i could see this and he couldnt. i paused and remembered how alike we were; i remember the perfectness. i watched him again and cried.

i knew at some point that i should close the window and re-try the program but i waited till i stopped crying and until my voice was "ready" to chat.

"i miss you so much" my voice cracked and i closed the window knowing that he didn't hear me and waited a minute. when i started the program again it worked and we began the casual chatting. nothing is worse than having the one you love see you so sad

... especially when their main purpose is to keep you happy.